Saturday, November 7, 2009

51 days and counting...

I am starting to have serious anxiety about going away. Not so much the being gone part, I’ve come to terms with that. But the leaving part. I run through each moment in my mind with such detail, it’s like a vivid memory I haven’t experienced yet…

The drive to the airport. The hugs. The tears. The tightening of our backpack straps while we question if we’ve forgotten anything. The whoosh of the automatic doors as we step into the terminal…

I think about the rush of emotions as we approach our gate. I think about how long it will be until I see my family’s faces again. I mean come on, how could you say goodbye to this face?

The nervousness and guilt and fear keep me up at night. I have moments – very fleeting moments, but moments nonetheless – where I think this is a wild idea we dreamt up that has gone way too far. No jobs? No home? Spending roughly a down payment on a house (a nice house!!) to wander the earth?

Yet, despite all of this, I know deep down we are undoubtedly doing the right thing. That this will be, by a long shot, the most significant thing either of us has experienced in our lives. That we will never regret this decision, and will never be the same because of it. I can’t wait to know the people that we will become.

And to those who support us, who express their pride and envy and extend their congratulations - Thank you. Thank you for helping me gain the perspective and the confidence to make this journey. Thank you for confirming the things that I sometimes won’t even allow myself to believe. You’ve got some great postcards comin your way ☺


  1. dude..that just made me cry. i think about that day all the time...the day that we will have our last hugs goodbye and wish you guys a safe journey. i am definitely one of those envious people you spoke of. i am sooo excited for you both and also cannot wait to see how this experience will change you. you are definitely doing the right thing. you are doing something that everyone has always wanted to do...talked about doing, but never had the balls to actually move forward with it. YOU GUYS HAVE BALLS!! (i'll leave you with that..)
    i love you both so much! : )

  2. Wish I could be as enthustiac but the fear and dread I feel just squashes those feelings of joy. All your friends cheer you on but they did not give birth to you and cannot possibly understand these feelings that I experience. Why a year, why not 3 months, I can only hold my breath for 3 months, max.

  3. Love reading this Sabrina. Can't wait to hear all about your exciting year abroad. It's crazy!!! And so wonderful... Lots of love, Julie

  4. Now this blog is not worth very much but when you return, it will be worth a pirates treasure filled with gold.
    Bon Voyage,
    Sandra Rowland