Thursday, October 14, 2010

I watched a video of my nephew the other day and it made me cry. It's amazing how I could be experiencing more in this year than many people will in a lifetime, yet at the same time missing so much.

I made a pretty bold realization the other day. This is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life. From great grades to great jobs, great apartments in great cities with great friends, great relationships and a great family. I recognize that I have lead a pretty charmed life. But nothing I have ever seen or done or lived through or accomplished has brought me more absolute and outrageous happiness than the experience of the past ten months. It's provided a sense of satisfaction with my life that is difficult even for me to comprehend. Unequivocally, it's the best decision I have ever made.

But, I miss my family. A lot. And I really miss my friends. And part of me is even starting to miss having an apartment and a car and satellite TV. Even with all of the bills that come along with them.

It's a pretty frustrating notion to me that you really can't have it all. I guess that's what life is all about. Having the things you love at the expense of those you don't. Putting in the hours at a job you hate to furnish the apartment you adore. Suffering through workouts at the gym to achieve the body you desire. Sacrificing the lifestyle you enjoy to save for the house you've always dreamed of.

They say the key to happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. Which I can totally get on board with. It's the fine print, however, must specify that you can't have all of those things at the same time. I anticipate that the decisions I'll make over the next several years of my life will serve to alternate between the things that mean most to me.

Our 18-year-old British buddy said last night that it's all about "freedom, and balance". I couldn't have said it better myself.

1 comment:

  1. Shannon Ho'NealOctober 16, 2010 at 1:26 PM

    We miss you too, Sabrina! I'm so glad you're having such an amazing experience, though, and I appreciate so much that you're sharing it with us. Big xo.

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